Monday, February 22, 2010

3 a.m.

Last night, I woke at 3 a.m. Worrying.





















This is nothing new. I'm up worrying at 3 a.m. all the time. 3 a.m. and I are old friends.

Mostly, I agonize over financial catastrophe, looming health crises, the State of Every Union in my life...you know, the ususal.

But, as this dream trip becomes a reality, I now have a refreshing new collection of fears and anxieties to keep me awake and in a cold sweat (or maybe it's a hot flash....)

Attack dogs and dislocated knees and bedbugs -- those are just the warm-up worries. I really hit my stride with stuff like: What if we can't catch a weekend bus from La Coruna to Sarria? What if all the beds are taken in all the albuerges -- do we sleep in a doorway somewhere? Cash or Credit or Debit -- and how much? What if we can't catch a bus from Fisterra back to La Coruna (and why do they call that stretch the Costa del Muerte?!) What if this sorta-skiffy knee of mine completely gives out in the middle of nowhere? And what the hell is that sudden stabbing pain in my head -- migraine? aneurism? brain mets?...
Along about dawn, when the rain lets up a little and the cats start yelling for breakfast, I start to settle down a bit and recognize that none of this stuff is insurmountable: Caity is smart and resourceful and I'm not idiot, so whatever happens, we'll probably figure it out just fine.

Which is what I feel -- what I know, what I'm sure of, right now, after a good day at work and a glass and a half of sauvignon blanc...


We'll see how I feel at 3 a.m.....

No comments: